We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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