There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
