one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
