yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
