dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You work out of a Hotel?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
