you win again, gameday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
