my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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