I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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