I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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