on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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