Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
