i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
