Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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