Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize