You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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