Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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