is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
