the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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