I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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