This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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