Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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