Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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