he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize