if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize