So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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