I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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