I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
