I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
