I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
