OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
