Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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