dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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