Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize