go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
