did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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