Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
