My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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