and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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