We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
