There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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