It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
