My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
