all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
3pm strippers are depressing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
