My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize