He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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