She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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