margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
