He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
