He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
