We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
