8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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