but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
