yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
