i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
