"it" just moved
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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