Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
