woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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